If Men Menstruated…

What would happen if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women didn’t ?

The answer is clear: menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event.

Note:
Based on an essay written by Gloria Steinem.
Ms Steinem’s essay originally appeared in the October 1978 issue of Ms. Magazine.

• Boys would mark the onset of menses, that longed-for proof of manhood
  New secret rites would be instituted
  There would be stag parties with lots of beer
  Hallmark would introduce a whole new line of cards
  Men would brag about how long and how much
  Bar contests would be inevitable
  Locker room talk would center around pad size and type
  Men’s magazines would contain lots of helpful articles on PMS
  Society in general would change
  Liberal males in every field would be kind to women,
  due to the fact that they have no gift for measuring life
  Judges would cite monthly stress in pardoning a rapist
  Newspapers would be full of stories such as:
  “SHARKS THREATEN MENSTRUATING MEN AT RESORT”
  The Federal Government would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help stamp out monthly discomforts
  Research grants would flow like, uh, water
  Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free
  Male radicals, left-wing politicians, and mystics, however,
  would insist that women are equal, just different
  Some occupations would continue to be dominated by men
  The Military men would cite menstruation as proof
  that only men could serve in combat
  Businessmen would insist that women cannot be as aggressive as men
  since they have no “cycle” governed by the planet Mars
  Politicians would say that women cannot subordinate their “selfness” for the great good, since only men experience the “Cycle of Enlightenment”
  Religious leaders would try to redefine the role of women in the Church
  Catholics would maintain that only men should be Priests,
  since men give blood for our sins
  Rabbis would insist that without the monthly loss of impurities,
  women remain unclean
  Evangelists would hold that in order for women to be in the clergy,
  they would have to self-inflict a wound monthly
  Sexual roles would change some
  Men would try to convince women that intercourse was
  more pleasurable at “that time of the month”
  Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself –
  though probably only because they needed a good menstruating man
  “Just because” would become a valid reason for
  either having sex or avoiding it
  Male intellectuals would offer new moral and logical arguments
  How can a woman master any discipline that demands a sense of time, space, mathematics, or measurement, without that in-built gift for measuring the cycles of the moon and planets
  In philosophy and religion, men would ponder if women compensate for missing the rhythm of the universe
  Psychologists would maintain that they’re trying to compensate for their lack of symbolic death-and-resurrection every month
  Some men would prefer customized macho pads
  John Wayne Maxi-Pads
  Dave Lettermen’s “Light Bachelor Days”
  Joe Namath Jock Shields
  Men would interact with each other differently
  Street guys would brag: “I’m a three-pad man”
  High-fives would be exchanged for: “Yeah man, I’m on the rag!”
  Menstruation would be a proper topic of conversation at time or place
  The Entertain Industry would feature:
  “Friends”: The gang would try to convince that Ross that he is still a man, even though he missed two periods in a row
  Newman and Redford would star in “Blood Brothers”
  Telethons for research and relief of unpleasant side-effects
  http://www.qis.net/~jimjr/men60.htm