(excerpted from Forward to the Adult Guidebook, Coming of Age: From Bud to Flower Menarche Kit)
I taught my first Coming of Age class for mothers and their daughters in April of 1994. I remember walking into the workshop room, sitting down and looking into the eyes of 10 little girls who clung to the sides of the women with them. I immediately saw myself as a young girl in their eyes – innocent, unsure, yet full of promise and hope. I was startled and suddenly feeling quite insecure. I didn’t have children of my own. I was accustomed to a world of adult communication, and although I was an experienced teacher and had officiated over several coming of age ceremonies by then, this was unchartered territory.
I realized that most of the girls were there because their mothers or aunts had insisted they come. One girl had recently lost her mother, and her two maternal aunts accompanied her. The room was charged with a lot of, as yet, unexpressed emotion. I knew many of the women. They trusted me to be the "tribal auntie," as mothers have rarely been the ones to pass on the menstrual teachings in indigenous cultures. You know how the saying goes: "It takes a village to raise a child."
Since that day, I have grown even more passionate about working with girls and their parents.
I feel it is time for a paradigm shift in reproductive education, to one which is more holistic and celebratory and addresses not just the obvious physical and emotional aspects of puberty, but the cultural, ecological, spiritual and ritual aspects as well.
As parents, it can be difficult to accept that our daughters are growing up. This awkwardness naturally gets projected onto our daughters and can have a deleterious influence on their self-esteem. As parents, we need to be accepting and encouraging of the changes that their bodies are going through. In this way, our daughters will not be condemned by shame and embarrassment.
For a few thousand years, we have been living under a belief system, reinforced by various religions, that has marginalized women and taught us that our bodies are inherently lewd or dangerous and our menstrual cycle is something that must be hidden and not discussed. Our intuition has been scorned and, consequently, we have forgotten how to listen to our bodies and access our inner wisdom. We have been taught to care for others and ignore our own needs – to suppress our self-expression and aliveness.
The adolescent females? intense archetypal struggle to rebel against their mothers and/or fathers is due largely to not being validated at this fundamental level. They feel betrayed. I believe strongly that this struggle has contributed to menstrual difficulties, reproductive disease, mental breakdowns, eating disorders, teen pregnancy, sexual abuse and self-mutilation.
It is time to reintroduce rites of passage ceremonial honorings of our girls as they enter womanhood, so that they will mature into confident, empowered women. It is time for the hidden wisdom teachings about the beauty and power of being born female to be shared openly. It is time for girls to look forward to their first menstruation ? to feel comfortable in their female bodies ? to take pride in respecting and caring for themselves as whole persons. Why should it be that only at marriage and death do we make a big fuss? Girls should be made to feel like princesses when they become women!
Throughout the world, new generations of mothers, longing to offer their daughters a more positive experience than they had, are creating gatherings to celebrate their daughters at menarche. It is not uncommon for women attending these events to experience a profound healing of their own, as if living vicariously through the young honoree.
I encourage mothers to do their own work, to reclaim their own cyclic empowerment. I have created an adult program, Women’s Rites of Passage: Reconnecting to the Source of Feminine Power , for just that purpose. I believe that a woman’s ability to mentor a young girl or guide a group will be more effective if she has first honored her own cycle. We cannot guide anyone where we have not been. Whether you are 35 or 65 ? it is never too late to put your arms around that young girl within you and show her the respect, love and honoring she longs for.
Creating ritual, especially a menarche ritual, is vitally important. It signals a shift in a girl’s development, when she takes her first step into adulthood by sharing a personal oath that puts her on her path and acknowledges her womanhood for herself. These ceremonies help validate her existence at a fundamental level and help define who she is. They celebrate the sacredness and power of her female body and identity as she evolves from girl to woman. They offer counsel and advice from older, wiser women. They make her feel loved, cherished, and deeply connected ? providing a rite of passage ? so ancient ? so right.
My heart is full of gratitude to offer my "From Girl to Woman" DVD and "Coming of Age: From Bud to Flower Menarche Kit" to you. It is the fulfillment of a life-long dream. I invite you to join with me and the countless women all over the world who are choosing to honor their girls at menarche by welcoming them into womanhood in joyous celebration."
Teaching endorsements:
In the tradition of Wise Women, Hemitra Crecraft is filling the huge void in menstrual education. "She is fun, truly brilliant, and knows her stuff – and what she will teach you will amaze and empower you." — Diane Vella, certified trainer, Love and Logic Parenting
"If you are paying attention, at special junctures in life, you’ll meet someone — a teacher, guide, or seer — who is a catalyst for transformational change. Hemitra Crecraft embodies all three… Her workshops are profound yet playful and help both moms and daughters connect more deeply with each other, the Earth, and divine life energy. My daughters, in their 20′s now, still talk about their initiation." — Tina Devine, storyteller
Product endorsements:
"At last, a program that has it all ? the biology, spirituality, wisdom lore, the Goddess – a long awaited resource for our young women!" — Alisa Starkweather, Founder, Belly and Womb Conference
"…speaks to the heart of every young girl on the verge of womanhood… beautiful, insightful, uplifting message…a treasure that no parent with a preteen daughter will want to pass up." — Kristi Meisenbach Boylan, "The Seven Sacred Rites of Menarche:The Spiritual Journey of the Adolescent Girl"
"very enlightening, beautifully produced… highly recommended viewing…showing us why we should be proud to be who and what we are!" — Angela D. Coleman, MA – Sisterhood Agenda: serving women and girls of African descent
"From Girl to Woman is a pure delight and a contagious joy in being a woman. Brava!" — Donna Henes, author – The Queen of My Self
Serafina Youngdahl’s Menarche Celebration
"I raised my hands skyward and bent my knees earthward as a circle of women welcomed me into womanhood. It was Beltane. My 13th year had begun, and I was initiated into an ancient tradition made new that would send waves through my life and through the lives of those who gave witness?." Read full story.
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