Published: Mon, May. 04, 2009 06:05AM
I should have seen it as a sign … the fact that my gray hairs were multiplying like rabbits. My metabolism had slowed to a crawl. I have knee pain on occasion.
I have a not-quite-6-year-old kindergartner. I am only 43. Granted, I am an “older mom” than some of one so young – but I still don’t consider myself old. So, to have the doctor call me about my blood work and tell me that I am post-menopausal gave me, well, pause.
Like many milestones that have been thrust upon me, I feel I am not mentally ready for this new “me.” But, since it seems I don’t have a choice, I guess I have to be. And, I guess I should embrace it. What kind of embrace though … the warm inviting you give to your kids or the tentative, reluctant one you gave to Aunt Gladys who pinched your cheeks every time you saw her.
I feel like my body has “nanny nanny boo-booed” me big time. I question whether the removal of my right ovary and fallopian tube while six months pregnant with son No. 1 played a part in this. I wonder how much, really, I will change with this change.
I’m supposed to be more diligent about taking my calcium now. That’s a challenge. Remembering something for me. My brain is filled with things to remember for my children, my husband, the house, my 80 year-old father. “Me” sometimes gets lost in all that.
Yet, I know I have changed. Beyond experiencing my own personal summers, I mean. I used to cry watching Hallmark commercials. Not so much anymore. It’s not that I’m no longer sentimental (how can you not be with growing children). I’m just more selective with my tears. I’m more snappish than I used to be. I feel like I need to harness the anger somehow. Maybe create a superhero. Menopausal Mom. I’ll wear pink with a Blazing M across my chest. There will be lightning bolts on it too, to match the ones that dart from my eyes. I’ll take on school boards … hmmm.
Comment from Leslie
Post-menopausal at 43 – that is way young. Was it the surgery or the medication – generally estrogen.