Holy Hormones Honey! Looks like hormone imbalance and lack of sex drive is becoming a global issue. Oh, yes.. economic progress. Brilliant. Singapore has a huge decline in population due to economic progress. Ugandans lack sex drive (just like women in the western world). Native American saying: A nation is not defeated until the heart of its women are on the ground.
Do you feel lousy about yourself lately? It happens. Especially with us, women, given our cycles and hormonal changes. And when it is that time of the cycle, you feel bloated, fatter, unappealing and naturally you will have little to offer your husband in bed.
Sex sucks when one of you is lacking in the confidence department. Yet you have to keep in mind that just because you are ‘PMSing’, it doesn’t mean that your husband’s body will understand too and put its demands on hold; just because you feel your stretch marks look a tad too swollen lately, it won’t stop your husband from feeling frisky in the middle of the night. Life happens, but sex continues.
But there are things you can do to tame the hormones. Thank goodness, that just like it is during a pregnancy, a woman can also decide not to give her hormones the upper hand at various times of the month.
Did you know, for example, that you can decide you don’t want to ‘detest’ your husband anymore during a pregnancy and the hormones will follow your command prompts? Or that you don’t want to be a slave to a particular food craving anymore, and voila, the foetus behaves?
From real life experiences, pregnant girls who don’t want their guardians to know about their conditions yet, have even willed themselves not to throw up in those guardians’ presence, and pulled it off – for hours. Psychologists call it exercising mind over matter.
In fact, one jjajja was overheard telling a group of young wives in Luganda: “The reason why your children are all spoilt brats these days is because today’s woman does not know how to control the child from when it is still a foetus in the womb. It does what it wants, when it wants it in the womb and that is not likely to change when the foetus becomes a gangly teenager.”
So for every aggressive hormone in the women’s manual, there is also a simple way to cool it down. Don’t let your sex life die a little each month due to hormones, until it is completely irretrievable.
Don’t allow yourself to come home from hospital with a healthy baby, but to a dead, sexless marriage because of your behaviour during those nine months. During those days when you feel so unattractive (all in the head, by the way, because chances are, that is when you are at your ‘glowiest’ and attracting your husband the most) and prefer to sleep in the children’s bedroom (for double-security that hubby won’t creep in at night for ‘some’), pamper yourself.
Suzie Heumann and Dr Susan Campbell in their Everything Great Sex Book, say even small things like a full pedicure or body massage can work miracles against your erratic hormones.