Milk: Perfect for the Crazy, Hormonal Bitch in Your Life

The Village Voice

By Rebecca Marx Wed., Jul. 13 2011 at 5:14 PM

Annals of Absurdity

Having apparently tired of moustaches, the California Milk Processor Board is taking betting on the female menstrual cycle to boost dairy sales.

In a new ‘Got Milk?’ campaign called ‘Everything I Do Is Wrong,’ the milk board positions its signature product as the cure-all for PMS by marketing it, oddly, to men. Specifically, men who happen to have wives and/or girlfriends made utterly, frighteningly irrational by their monthly hormonal holocaust.

The print ads, which bear headlines like “We can both blame myself” and “I’m sorry I listened to what you said and not what you meant,” direct these poor, quivering souls to a website where they can create apology videos, track global PMS levels, read “case studies,” and get such advice as “Be on high alert for verbal traps and questions about weight.” The rapier wit on display may or may not take you back to your seventh grade sex ed class.

The milk board and Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, the agency responsible for the campaign, actually tried the PMS thing in 2005 with a TV commercial depicting men ransacking grocery stores and milk trucks of their inventory as Barry White played in the background. Both the 2005 commercial and the current campaign refer to a study that has shown “milk can help reduce the symptoms of PMS.” Actually, that study concluded that vitamin D and calcium could reduce PMS symptoms, and as any lactose intolerant lady knows, those can also be found in pills and fortified orange juice, among other things.

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Author: Leslie Carol Botha

Author, publisher, radio talk show host and internationally recognized expert on women's hormone cycles. Social/political activist on Gardasil the HPV vaccine for adolescent girls. Co-author of "Understanding Your Mood, Mind and Hormone Cycle." Honorary advisory board member for the Foundation for the Study of Cycles and member of the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research.