The Daily Cramp: Can Miami Investment Bankers Make Million$ Teaching Men About Menstruation?

Miami New Times

By Michael Miller,
Fri., Apr. 1 2011 @ 8:00AM
You can’t spell “success” without PMS.

At least, that’s the logic of a pair of Miami investment bankers and a tech guy from Texas. The decidedly estrogen-free trio has created a free email newsletter that notifies men of what’s happening with their woman’s menstrual cycle. They call it, of course, The Daily Cramp.

Keep on reading for samples of the vulgar, tampon-themed, “male-oriented humor” you, too, can receive every morning.

Jon Hilley, the Cramp’s 29-year-old creator, says he came up with the idea while talking to his girlfriend about her “hormone schedule.” The former Goldman Sachs employee had never heard of such a thing.
Thumbnail image for DailyCrampBear3.JPG
courtesy of The Daily Cramp
What it looks like when your lady is in the “sexy” zone.

“Guys think women just have a period once a month and bleed,” Hilley says. “But the chemicals in their bodies are constantly changing, that’s why their emotions change.”

So he decided to create an email update that would let men know what mood their missus had in store for them that day.

It’s simple. Enter your email address, your wife or girlfriend’s name, and the last time she had her period and viola! You now have a Master’s degree in menstruation.

“It’s 1 part science, 1 part Dear Abby, and all parts funny,” the website says.

Well, they got the Dear Abby part right, at least.

Here’s an example of The Daily Cramp, which went live this morning:

Today’s status: still bleeding. In fact, a tidal wave of dark red and watery brown river water is flowing out of me right now. What? Too much information? Isn’t this why you signed up for The Daily Cramp: to know my flow? Well get used to it. This is the way of my biological world, weenie.

Considering the torrential downpour I’m experiencing, I probably won’t shave. Not my legs. Not my underarms. Not my hoo-ha. Nothing. I’m going to go au naturale and bring it back to the stone age. And you’ve got nothing to say about it, so you can just clamp your loud mouth shut. It’s not like you deserve any awards for self-grooming.

The Daily Cramp: Your path to a no strings attached BJ begins and ends with sympathy. Be nice, be sympathetic, and be down with the fur on my leg. If you don’t, you’ll blow your chances (pun intended).


PG

Author: Leslie Carol Botha

Author, publisher, radio talk show host and internationally recognized expert on women's hormone cycles. Social/political activist on Gardasil the HPV vaccine for adolescent girls. Co-author of "Understanding Your Mood, Mind and Hormone Cycle." Honorary advisory board member for the Foundation for the Study of Cycles and member of the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research.